Barely Hanging On
by aliciadouglas
Summary: Renesmee Cullen is diagnosed with leukemia, Jacob is by her side through the whole fight, and would do anything to save her. Set six years after Breaking Dawn, Nessie looks 16. Told from her and Jacobs POV.
1. Is that even possible?

**I must say this is one of the hardest stories I've ever writen, it's a very personal subject in a way, so it was kind of sad. But at the same time it was hard because I had to find out a whole bunch of information on the topic while still keeping it at an easy to understand level. I enjoyed writing every minute of it though. I dedicate this story to my best friend since grade two, Leah, who I'm so glad is still around to read it.**

* * *

Nessie's POV

I step out of the shower and reach over to grab a towel. I start drying my hair with one end and with the other wipe a spot of steam off the mirror so I can see my self. I turn around to grab another towel to dry my body when I notice something in the mirror out of the corner of my eye. I pause and look closer. it wasn't an optical illusion. I have a huge bruise on my shoulder. I look and see I have a couple on my arms to. and one of my knee.

It was probably from running in the woods yesterday. I fell once (that would explain the bruise on my knee) and the tree branches were whacking me pretty hard. But I shouldn't be bruised. Not like this anyway.

I dry off and put on my pyjamas again before going downstairs. On the couch mom and Jacob sit, talking about something. I go over to mom and hold out my arm.

"What happened?" She asks.

"I think its from running yesterday but I shouldn't be bruised." I explain.

"Maybe Carlisle can look at it when he gets home." Jacob suggests.

Grandpas been on call at the hospital for the past two days, he should be home any minute now.

I agree then I go upstairs to lay down. Lately I've been feeling very tired. Normally I have loads of energy, but these past few days I've been sleeping more and more and deeper to. After the run yesterday I don't think I moved for hours.

Maybe something's really wrong with me... or maybe I'm just blowing it out proportion.

* * *

When I come back downstairs, my eyes still stinging from sleep, I see the living room is clear of anyone so I go and lie down on the couch again. Behind me are footsteps. I turn my head and see Grandpa coming in through the dinning room door, still in his lab coat and scrubs. I like seeing him like that, its interesting. He seems like more then just my Grandpa, but a life saver and someone that people count on everyday. "Hey hun, your mom said you wanted to show me something."

"Yeah," I say, pushing up the sleeves of my sweat shirt.

Grandpa gasps. "Nessie, I-I think I need to... do some tests." Grandpa chokes out.

"What kind of tests?" I ask.

Then dad comes through the doorway to the living room, a look of pure horror on his face. "Is that even possible?" He insists, his voice strangled and distant.

"I don't know Edward. I need to do the tests." Grandpa tells him, looking at the floor.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"We aren't sure yet Ness. We'll tell you once we know. No point worrying you over nothing."

This annoys me. And scares me. Something's wrong -something's very wrong- and they aren't telling me!

"I wont go anywhere until you tell me what's going on!" I try to sound firm, like I mean it, but my voice shakes with the fear building inside me.

Grandpa sighs, pushing me back onto the couch before sitting down beside me. "Honey, I don't want you to freak out, but I need your cooperation. I guess if you really want to know I'll tell you." I nod. "For the past few days you've had this weird smell, but I thought I was just being playing tricks on my self, because we've had a lot of patients at the hospital coming in with it and they end up having... and then you have all these bruises, and you've been sleeping a lot. I think... I think you have cancer."

His words are meaningless after he says cancer. Its not possible. It cant be. This cant be happening. I'm not human, not fully anyway, I cant get cancer. I've only ever had colds.

But I guess if your human enough to have blood pumping through your veins and a heart beat and a breath. Your human enough to get cancer.

"Cancer?" I squeak.

Grandpas voice is solemn as he says "Possibly. Leukemia. Blood cancer."

It sinks in for real now. I've never seen Grandpas calm so shaken before. His voice cracking and wavering. His eyes scared and panicked. I have cancer. I'm going to die.

Suddenly dads icy hands are on either side of my face, his eyes boring into mine. "You are not going to die." he says sternly, having heard my thoughts.

"But I have cancer." I whisper.

"We cant know until we go run some tests. We need to go." Grandpa tells us quietly.

Dad instantly is running across the room, at the door, shoving his feet in his shoes and grabbing the car keys.

"Wait!" I practically yell. "Hold on!" I dart up the stairs. I need to get everyone. They need to come. They need to know. They need to know because I have cancer and I'm probably going to-

_Stop!_ I yell at my self in my head. panicking isn't going to help anything. You need to calm down. I end up deciding to get mom and Jacob and that's it. I bang on Jacob's door with enough force I'm surprised the door doesn't fall in. The door opens and Jacob stands there with his new Ipad in hand, looking very confused. I grab his hand pull him into the hall.

"We have to go." I say as I fast walk towards the stairs.

"Where?" He asks.

I know its selfish, but I cant force the words out, I cant tell him about my own possible death. "Ask Grandpa. I'll be down in a minute." I say. I feel terrible about making Grandpa have to repeat the awful news. But I just cant. I cant say it without breaking down and becoming immobile.

I run up to the third floor then, leaving Jacob at the stairs to the living room. I open moms door without knocking this time.

"What's up?" She asks when she sees me.

"We're going."

"Where?" She asks the same thing Jacob did.

"Hospital." Is all I mutter.

"Why?"

"I... I cant say." She follows me downstairs without anymore explanation and in seconds we're all at dads Volvo, getting in.

On the way to the hospital Grandpa explains to mom and Jacob what's happening. What _might_ be happening. Jacob's hand tightens around mine, at first its like he needs something to hold onto while his world is spinning out of control, then it slowly softens to a squeeze of reassurance and a promise that he's there for me. The drive to the hospital is probably the longest of my life, though its only a few minutes the way dad is speeding down the wet roads of Forks. Nothing compares to the wait for the results that will come.

We march into the hospital like an army. And we're all linked somehow. Grandpas hand is on moms shoulder, moms hand in dads, my hand linked through dads and my other around Jacobs. We walk with a purpose. with a determination to prove that Grandpas wrong, even Grandpa wants to be wrong. This is something none of us want for me.

As we walk down the halls towards the lab one of the nurses comes around the same corner we're headed for.

"Back so soon Dr. Cullen?" She asks with a smile.

"I wasn't planning to, but its kind of an emergency. Are you headed somewhere in a hurry?" Grandpa asks.

"Nope, just making my rounds."

"Could you possibly go to the blood lab and get us a room?"

She bites her lip and looks concerned "I think their all booked. But I can try."

"Say its for me, tell them we'll be quick."

"Okay." She says. She try's to smile again before going back the way she came.

We wait outside the blood lab for only a few minutes. The minutes are agonizing though. We all want to be in action, we all want to be doing something to know more about this. The nurse comes out this time her smiles genuine. "Room five is open for ten minutes. Your free to use it."

"Thank you Sue. You don't know how grateful I am." Grandpa says.

"Oh, its no problem. May I ask what's wrong?"

"We're not really sure. Renesmee has these weird bruises and she's been really tired as of late. It might be an infection or something else..."

"That doesn't sound good. Well, you better go find out." Grandpa nods in agreement before directing us through the doors.

Once in the room, with the door shut behind us, Grandpas in action. Rushing at vampire speed from cabinet to cabinet, instructing me to sit down.

It only takes seconds for him to have all the things he needs for a blood test. I would usually be very scared of the needle about to be stuck in my arm. But right now I don't have any fear left. I've used it all to dread what's going to happen to me if this test comes back positive.

I even watch the tip off the syringe poke into my skin, barely feeling the little pinch. I watch the blood pouring into the first vile, then the second.

Grandpa tells us to go to his office while he goes to the lab and looks at the blood cells under a microscope.

Dad leads the way, obviously knowing where the office is. Inside the office, we stand huddled together while we wait for Grandpa to come. Mom and dads hands on my shoulders and Jacobs hand in mine.

Only a few minutes -ten at the most- later the door swings open and Grandpa enters, his face unreadable. I'm frozen, I feel like I'm encased in ice. I'm still as stone as Grandpa looks at us all. This is it.

He opens his mouth and time unfreezes, his words breaking the spell. "Its cancer."

All the blood drains out of my face, out of my entire body, as if seeping into the carpeted floor beneath my feet. My head spins and the room spins with it. The next thing I know my knees buckle and I black out.

Jacob's POV.

I feel Nessies grip on my hand loosen, then she starts to fall, I go to grab her but Bella already has, Edward is a statue, stunned beyond the ability to move.

"Edward? Edward!" Bella tries -unsuccessfully- to get his attention.

"Give her to me." I whisper, holding out my arms for Nessie. I need to hold her, I need to have her in my arms where I know she's safe from all danger, because I will never let anything hurt her. Then I realize, this is not something that will get her from the outside, but destroy her from the inside. I can't do anything. But I still need her to be near me right now.

Bella willingly hands her over and I curl her close to my chest, kissing her forehead. I take her over to one of the big chairs in the corner and keep holding her while Carlisle convinces Edward to come back to us, then leads him out to the car.

I stare at Nessie in my arms, wondering how something so bad can be inside such a good person, such an amazing girl.

I hear Bella talking on the phone, I'm gussing to the other Cullens, but I don't listen to the words. I just focus on Renesmees beautiful face.

A few minutes later and Carlisle is back, he checks on Renesmee, making sure she's okay. He says that her paulse is a little low but that just because she passed out. Bella comes to sit in the chair beside mine, strocking Nessies hair gently. Bella looks up at me and brushes my cheek. I look at her questioningly.

She holds out her finger so I can see a teardrop. I reach up and find I'm crying. I quickly brush away the tears with my sleeve.

"She'll be okay Jacob." Carlisle promies.

"I know. I know, I'm just... scared." I mutter.

"We all are Jake." Bella tells me quietly.

Nessie stirs and I look back at her in time to see her eyes open. Looking confused as she comes back into consiocuness.

Nessie's POV

Hands. Cold fingers stroking my cheek. Someone taking my paulse on my neck.

Then voices. Mom, Grandpa, Jacob. Worried and scared.

My eyes flutter open. I'm curled in Jacobs arms, sitting in one of the plush chairs in Grandpas office. Moms sitting beside us, and Grandpas standing beside her.

"Hi sweetie." Jacob says gently. His cheeks are dry now, but their tear stained. He was crying. I've never seen Jacob cry.

Mom tries to smile but its a febel attempt. A ghost like impersination of her smile. I realize dads not in the room.

"Stop." I mutter, struggling to sit up, then Jacob helps me.

"What?" Mom asks confused.

I don't want to slowly be brought back to my life. I don't want them to pretend that nothing happened. That nothings _wrong_. I need information. I need to know what's going to happen.

"Stop acting. I didn't forget. Tell me what I need to know."

Grandpa explains everything, going so far into detail that I cant keep up, and we discuss what treatment we want to do. We're going to try chemo and if that doesn't work raidiation. And if that doesn't work, theres trials; but Grandpa really wants to avoid them, saying that some of them do more harm then good.

"Do the others know?" I ask.

Mom tells me that she phoned them while I was out.

"And where's dad?"

"He went into shock kind of, I was able to get him aware enough to drag him to the car." Grandpa says.

I nod, that sounds very much like dad.

Theres only one thing left to ask now:

"When do I start treatment?"

* * *

**SSo tell me what you think in the comments. I love reading you opinions. I will probably post the second chapter tomorrow or later today. **

* * *

**Soss**


	2. A new style

**Here is the second chapter as promised.**

* * *

Nessie's POV

My first round of chemo is in a week. Just enough time for me to be prepared. I'm put on pills. Given a healthy diet.

And I cut my hair.

Grandpa suggested it, saying that once I start chemo my hair will fall out and that if its already short it wont seem like so much is coming out.

I know its stupid to be concerned about something like hair with all that's going on right now. But its not really about my hair. Its about having another thing taken away from me.

I sit down is Aunt Alice's bathroom anyway and she promises it will look great. I close my eyes and imagine my self somewhere else, anywhere else. When she taps my shoulder I slowly open my eyes again only to burst into tears because of the reflection in the glass. Its not that it looks bad. It doesn't. Its just not _me. _My beautiful red curls, down to mid-back before, are now cut to Just below my chin.

Aunt Alice panics, thinking I hate it. I _do _hate it. But not for the reason she thinks.

Finally I calm down enough to walk my self back to my bedroom. I only cry for a few more minutes before my tears stop and I just lay there staring out my window wall at the grey clouds moving across the sky.

After a few hours I go downstairs and pretend that I like my new hair, showing it off with a smile to my family and Jacob. Its cute, it really is, it frames my face perfectly, I still don't like it though.

That night as I lay in bed again after midnight, not asleep just yet, the door opens and in comes Jacob. I smile at him with my eyes half closed in almost-sleep.

"Hey hun." He whispers as he comes to lie under the covers beside me.

"Hey." I mutter back.

He leans in and kisses my neck for a long second. Instantly I'm wide awake.

"I really do like your new hair." He says into my jaw as his lips brush up to my temple, then my lips.

"How about we forget about that for now?" I offer.

Jacob seems to agree because he doesn't say anything about it after that. Instead we spend the rest of the night until I fall asleep, kissing and giggling and whispering promises into each others ears.

Jacobs POV

Nessie comes down the stairs on the day before her scheduled first round of chemo, with a totally new haircut. Its short, and extremely adorable. That's the first thing I notice, then I look at her eyes and see that she's been crying, their red rimed and still shiny.

I jump up, going to stand in front of her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her in for a long kiss.

After I let her go she go's into the living room to show everyone what Alice did. She pretends to like it, she smiles and giggles at compliments, but deep, buried under a layer of false happiness, I can see she's sad.

* * *

**T**

**Tell me what you think so far in the comments! Next chapter is about her first round of chemo. **


	3. Here we go

**The third chapter, hope you all like it :)**

* * *

Nessie's POV

I've been acting very childish.

I realize this on the way to the hospital for my first round of chemo. Fainting, crying for stupid reasons, being all down and depressed. This is not me. I'm one that takes bad news and finds something good in it. I'm an optimist. But all of the sudden, with it being my life on the line, I'm not anymore.

Okay, maybe I deserved a few days of panicking, maybe I just needed to find my footing in this situation. No more of this though. I'm going to suck it up.

I've never been scared of hospitals before. I got use to them at a very young age, going to visit grandpa at work, but today there's something very close to fear stirring in the pit of my stomach.

Grandpa meets us at the front desk and takes us to the small second floor. Its half the size of the lower floor, since its only for in-patients and there's very few of those in Forks.

Grandpa leaves once I'm settled into my hospital room. The room is small and white and sterile. Two chairs, a tiny bathroom and a cot. Monitors line the wall behind the bed though their off right now.

I change into the hospital gown on the bed and we all wait for Grandpa to come back. When he does he brings what must be the bag with the chemicals in it. The deadly mixture that will be entering my blood stream in a few minutes but its covered with a black bag.

Jacobs arms tighten around me protectively. I lean back, snuggling into his chest while Grandpa sets us the IV stand beside the bed. He holds out his hand for mine so he can put the IV in. I hesitate for a second then lay mine on top of his. I bite my lip as the IV enters painfully.

"I'm going to start the drip." Grandpa says. "It might burn a bit for a few minutes.

He slides a clip off the tube and I watch the clear liquid slide down, into my veins. It doesn't burn but it feels kind of cold, like ice water.

"How long until I start throwing up?" I ask.

"Any minute now to a day. Or maybe that wont be one of your side effects at all."

"And when will my hair start falling out?"

"A few hours, though it takes a week or two for it to all be gone."

I nod.

"Will it grow back the same?" Mom asks.

"Sometimes it comes in different, it will still be red but it might be straight or wavy or it might stay exactly the same."

I start to retch, Jacob quickly grabs the basin off the side of the bed, holding it under my chin I start to throw up violently. Jacob rubs my back with the other hand. There is an advantage to the short hairstyle at least, it doesnt get all messed up with puke.

Mom hands me a cup of water when I sit back in Jacobs arms again. I take slow sips, still feeling my stomach turning.

I only get a few minutes of peace before I throw up again, and this time Jacob realizes to late and I throw up on the floor.

"Sorry." I mutter.

"Don't be. I'll clean it up." Grandpa says. "Just relax. And keep the basin near you."

I try to smile at him but it comes out weak and probably looking more like a grimace. It doesn't help that everyone in the room is tense and so serious.

Grandpa comes back with a medicine cup, filled with some pink stuff, and a towel. He hands the cup to me and bends down to clean the floor.

"What's this?" I ask.

"It will help your stomach."

I down the disgusting stuff and wait for it to work while dad turns on the TV that none of us are going to watch.

"Can you pass me my bag?" I ask mom, pointing at the suitcase, rested on the chair across the room, that I brought from home with everything I need in it.

Mom darts to the chair and brings back the bright blue bag. I find my Ipod and put in the earphones. I just want some peace and quiet, some time to think. Maybe if they think I'm listening to music they'll let me be for a bit.

I tap on the first playlist that comes up and put down the Ipod, closing my eyes.

Good Life by OneRepublic comes on and at first memories flood back, this was my song for a long time. I think I played this song ten times a day for a whole two months. Memories of Jacob coming up behind me and suddenly twirling me around by the hand and kissing me with this song in the background. Sitting on La push beach watching the sun go down while this was playing on the radio. Cooking dinner with Grandma. Singing this while in the car. So many happy memories from a happier time when it look like I_ was_ going to have a good life.

Then anger eats out the memories and I grab the Ipod from my side and start trying to take off the lock so I can turn off the stupid song that doesn't apply to me anymore. but my finger are shaking so I have trouble sliding off the lock. I start tapping it furiously then pull out my ear buds. Tears fill my eyes. because I can still hear the song because the volume was loud enough, I pick up the Ipod, my hand shaking so hard the Ipod starts slipping. I toss it against the wall where it falls to the floor with a thump. it had a protective case on it so it doesn't do anything but turn off.

Everyone's looking at me, surprised by my sudden outburst.

I roll over, burying my face in the pillow while I start to sob.

So much for acting more grown up.

Jacobs whispering in my ear but I'm not listening. Moms hand is stroking my arm. I hear the door close and look up to find that dad isn't in the room anymore.

"What's his problem?" I ask, wiping away my tears with my arm.

"Its just hard for him. Seeing you like this." Grandpa explains.

"I'll go talk to him." Mom says, leaving the room.

After a few minutes, I whisper "This is my fault." Looking at my hands to hide the tears that are filling my eyes and making everything blurry.

Jacobs arms squeeze me reassuringly and Grandpa comes to sit on the edge of the bed to stroke my cheek as the moister starts to fall.

"No its not. This is not at all your fault. Its no ones fault." Grandpa tells me.

"But if I wasn't sick then dad wouldn't be upset."

"Its not like you choose this. You have no say. Your dad will get use to it, or as use to it as someone can be. It will pass. I just think everyone is in shock right now and we're still trying to comprehend."

I don't say it but I still don't agree. I always hurt the people I love. always. Since before I was even born and I almost killed mom.

Dad and mom don't come back, Grandpa leaves to continue on call. The only one who stays is Jacob and I have a feeling nothing could make him go away.

Jacobs POV

Nessie rolls over and goes to sleep after a while, its been a long day, filled with stress for all of us, but the worst for her. I watch her sleep, her even breath flutters a strand of hair near her face, I gently brush it back behind her ear. She looks so peaceful in sleep, so untroubled. I wish she could stay like that until all this is over, so she doesn't have to worry about anything. I wish that she didn't have to go through all this, she doesn't deserve any of it. She's the sweetest, most loving, caring girl I've ever known, why was she the one chosen for all this when there are so many bad people that deserve it more?

* * *

**Tell me what you think in the comments! There will probably be another chapter up later today. **


	4. Changes

**Hello again, here is the first chapter, this was a really nice one to write, Jacob is so awesome in it.**

* * *

Nessies POV

I've never felt more ugly in my life. The hair that was left falls out, leaving my head bare and shiny. The blush in my cheeks melts away, leaving a chalky, pale white. My eyes are lifeless. I lose weight like crazy.

And I hurt. Constantly. Mouth sores and throwing up, aches and pains. Nothing is the same. I swear that even Jacob looks at me differently sometimes.

Of course not. This is Jacob, he thinks I'm beautiful when I have terrible bed head and wear sweatpants and a paint splattered T-shirt. He knows I'm the same on the inside.

But it doesn't stop the fear that he doesn't like me now. The fear that he's wondering why he's here, with me, in a hospital bed while I try and live. I don't deserve him and I wonder if he knows that.

The lights are dimmed in the hospital for the night time when I think about this. About two weeks into my first round of chemo. I'm lying down in my bed, supposed to be sleeping, with Jacob holding me from behind, his hot breath in my ear. Its the only thing that keeps me sane some days. When nothing else feels real and I feel like my life was just a mistake or maybe a terrible nightmare, Jacob reminds me that its not. Jacob reminds me of the reasons to live.

I think at some point the tears dripping silently over the bride of my nose and onto the pillow turn to hysteria. Thinking about how worthless I am to anyone now. Bed ridden, ugly, boring. Why would Jacob want to stay with me?

Jacob wakes up when I start sobbing into the pillow. I'm ashamed. I promised that I would act more grown up. I would be brave so everyone else didn't have to suffer with me. I haven't done very well with that. In the darkest hours of the night, I cry. Not every night, no. But enough that its embarrassing. Most of the time no one catches me and by morning I can act normal. But sometimes Jacob will wake up, or Grandpa will come in to check on me or a nurse. And my cheeks will burn for a few seconds.

"What's wrong Nessie?" Jacob mutters, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." I chock out.

"Why are you crying? What's wrong?" He insists.

And often, in the middle of the night, when I'm caught crying like a baby, I'll open up eventually and tell who ever it is what's wrong. Only to feel more embarrassed in the morning.

"I just... I just don't understand."

"What don't you understand?" Jacob whispers, pulling me closer to his chest.

"I don't understand why you still love me. Why you stay with me when I have nothing to offer."

"I love you because of you. That's what you offer and no one else can give me that."

"But I'm ugly." I start to sob again.

"First off, you are not ugly. Your gorgeous. And secondly, do you think that's what matters to me? You could have three eyes no nose and webbed feet and I would still love you. Just because your you."

"But you deserve better." I argue.

"I deserve less. Your to good for me."

"How can-"

He cuts me off with a kiss. His lips pressing against mine to stop the words. I lean into him, kissing back, letting me believe everything he said. I'm vaguely aware of the mouth sores that are all over my tongue and inside my lips, but Jacob doesn't seem to mind.

I huff when Jacob pushes me back onto the pillow.

He pecks the tip of my nose once then whispers "Stop worrying. Your perfect to me."

Because he said to, I can. and soon I drift off into a deep sleep.

Jacobs POV

What a crazy idea! Has she lost her mind?

How can she think that I care what she looks like? I love her because of who she is. I love her because I can't live without her and I can't imagine a

life without her in it. And even if she was ugly -which she is _so _not- I wouldn't care.

She doesn't look that bad really. She still has a perfect face, she still has beautiful eyes that I get lost in, she still has everything a lot of things I know other girls would die for. I just can't believe that she thinks I'm above her when I'm actually below her.

Nessies POV

I wander the hospital halls the next day. Grandpa said maybe I should get up and walk around. I jumped at the chance for new scenery, even if its still just the hospital. Bing confined to a very small hospital room is not fun.

I have no clue where to go so I end up just turning down random halls and taking random detours into a conference room, the small cafeteria, the laundry room.

Then I come across what might be a little chapel or a waiting room or anything really. There's only one window, at the very front of the room. A huge stained glass window stands as tall as the roof, a yellow heart in the middle. Its cloudy outside like always, but there's enough light coming in to make the room the same colors as the complicated panels of glass. The colors slant across the table and seats in the middle of the room and to the door where I stand in wonder.

How did I not know this was here? How did I not know that something so pretty and so perfect could stand in the middle of this hell hole? Maybe that's the wrong way to think of the hospital, the place that's trying to save my life, but after almost three weeks in here its starting to become my own personal prison.

Every thing in the hospital is pale tones, white and cream and pale blue and pale mint green, the only specks of real color are on some of the nurses scrubs, the ones that took their time to go out and buy special scrubs with flowers or words or hearts printed on them. And those come and go. But in here its full of light and color. I enter the room silently, shutting the door behind me with a gentle thud. I find my self going up to the stain glass window, my finger outstretched to stroke a red panel. Its cool under my finger tips, and I can feel the rhythm of the rain on the other side. How much I would give to go outside in the rain again. I want to walk through the wall and out, into the drizzle, to outstretch my arms and spin in a circle while the droplets hit my face. I want it so bad. I wonder if I will ever feel rain again.

After I wander the perimeter of the rectangular room, I sit down in one of the chairs beside the table. Its perfectly quiet in here. The walls are thick enough not to hear the hospital sounds, and the only smell is the freshly cut flowers in small vases. After a few minutes of staring at the wall I climb on the table and lay on my back, pulling my feet up onto the bench.

I don't know how long I lie there. Probably a couple of hours. Its the first time in a while that I've been really alone and the silence is nice. Peaceful. I'm able to sort through the confused thoughts in my head and somewhere during the hours lying on the table, I find my self again. I remember who I was and who I still am.

Soon I know I should go back to my room. Their probably wondering where I am. I roll off the bench and with one last glance around the room, darkening now with night fall, walk out.

* * *

**Do you like it so far? Comment and tell me! **


	5. Smiling through the pain

**The fith chapter! Enjoy :)**

* * *

Nessie's POV

My little room is very crowded. My whole family has come for a visit. I'm happy to see all of them, but the room is getting kinda stuffy and loud.

"I see nothing. I know nothing." Aunt Alice jokes after Uncle Emmett asks her what she sees in my future.

They all laugh, then dad asks "No but seriously, what do you see?"

Aunt Alice's face darkens a little. "Nothing. Its blank like it use to be."

When I was younger Aunt Alice couldn't see me at all because she wasn't use to "half breeds." She's gotten use to me and Jacob now, and can sometimes see us.

"What does that mean?" Mom asks.

"I don't know." Aunt Alice mutters, looking down.

"What does it mean Alice?" Dad asks his voice very on-edge.

"It could mean nothing, it could mean something."

"Shut up Alice." Dad snaps.

"I didn't say it! Stop reading my mind if you don't want to hear it!" Aunt Alice growls back.

"She's not going to die!"

I cringe.

"It was an absent thought Edward! Calm down! You know I didn't mean it!"

"Then don't think it!"

"I'll think whatever I think! Stop being so controlling!"

"I'm trying to keep my daughter alive Alice! It doesn't help when people start doubting her recovery."

"Oh. My. God! Would you let it go?!"

Mom places a hand on dads shoulder. "Stop. She didn't mean it."

Dad turns to face her. "How can you agree with her?!"

"Because she didn't do anything wrong! We've all wondered! So drop it."

With a final glance at me, dad storms out.

The whole room is silent for a moment then everyone but Jacob and me go after him.

"Where do you think he's going?" I ask jacob.

Jacob shrugs and I can't help laughing at how ridiculous this all is, dad's mad at Aunt Alice because she can't see my future and she though it might mean I'm dead. Dads always been prone to overreaction. When I look at Jacob I see he's grinning to, then we both start laughing out loud. It might not be that funny, it might be just sad, but you got to laugh, its the only thing you can do in situations like this.

* * *

Jacob comes into my room that afternoon with a wheel chair. I look at him suspiciously. Because the chemo weakens my system I'm not aloud to leave the hospital. I'm barely aloud to leave my room.

"What's that for?" I ask.

"We're going out." Jacob tells me.

"I can't go out." I sigh "Remember?"

"I know, but I convinced Carlisle that you need some fresh air and vitamin D. You've been in here for three weeks. Come'on, its amazing out today."

"And he said yes?"

"Yep!" Jacob says cheerfully. "Oh, but you do have to wear this." He tosses me a surgical mask which I slip on over my nose and mouth. "Get dressed and we'll leave." He says, handing me a pale blue sun dress and underwear.

Looking in the mirror in the bathroom is hard. I miss my hair. This is a normal outfit for me, but it looks wrong without my red curls around it.

Jacob wheels me out to the elevators while the nurses look at us, confused about our sudden departure.

Grandpa waits for us in the lobby, or maybe he's just there when we are. Jacob helps me into the car in front of the entrance Grandpa takes the wheelchair while Jacob gets in the drivers side.

And then we're leaving. For the first time in three weeks I'm leaving the hospital.

Jacob was right about it being a beautiful day. Though its cloudy, its warm and the sky hints that the sun will break through soon. We stop at home first, Jacob runs inside to get something, insisting that I stay in the car. He returns with a big old yellow blanket and a wooden picnic basket.

I giggle "What are those for?"

"We are going to have a picnic on the beach."

"Oh really? Well, aren't you romantic?"

"Yes I am. I wish it was nice enough to go swimming but the waters still cold... we can go this summer if your- you want to."

He changed the sentence half way through but I know what he was going to say: if your still alive. It seems to be the thought on everyone's mind these days.

"Sorry, sorry." Jacob mutters.

"No. Its true."

"No its not. Your going to make it through this. just wait and see. You'll be fine."

I just nod.

We pull out of the driveway and down the long twisting path to the highway.

The way to La Push, First beach is familiar. I could probably walk there in my sleep. I remember there was one summer where it was sunny for a whole month streight (keeping my family away from the public.) and Jacob and I went to the beach almost everyday.

The sky is a bright blue by the time we arrive, the water green and dotted with ice caps. The pebbles on the shore sparkle in different colors. Drift wood litters the beach, some of them being used as benches by other beach goers.

Suddenly I'm very self conscious of my bald head and the mask on my face. People are going to stare no doubt. People are going to feel sorry for me, while at the same time being thankful its not them. Its hard to believe that I use to feel the same when I saw girls with no hair.

I don't make a move to get out of the car. Instead I sit there and stare out the window with eyes that must be huge with fear. When I go to the beach other girls stop and stare because I'm so pretty, now the stares will be different. Jacob opens my door for me.

"Are you okay? You look like your going to be sick." I shake my head. "Your not sick or you are?"

"I'm fine." I mutter.

"Good. Lets go." He smiles at me and I cant help giving a little smile back before getting out.

The sun when I step out is so bright I squint to see. Jacob grabs the stuff from the back seat and we start walking down the beach, hand in hand. The roar of the waves and the sea salt smell in the air have an immediate effect on my mood. As suddenly as the concern of people staring came, its gone. I no longer care what the other people on the beach think, I'm just happy to be here. The sun on my face is amazingly warm for Washington and the breeze is nice and cool. People do stare, and with my super sensitive hearing I hear the whispers claiming that I'm a poor sick girl. But at the moment they have as much substance as saying I have four heads. For the moment, their not true.

We find a place far down the beach, away from any other people where Jacob sets up our picnic. The wind flares up, making the blanket billow off the ground. Jacob had one end of it so it doesn't blow away completely. I scramble to grab the other and end up bumping into Jacob. we're both laughing hysterically, both unable to catch our breath. I pull down the mask, wrap my arms around Jacobs neck, stand on my tip toes and press my lips to his. The wind stops and the blanket comes down over our heads, sealing the kiss around us even after we part. Another gust of chilly air blows the blanket back up above us.

"I'll get that." I say breathlessly.

Jacob nods, his lips turning up at the corner as I back away to grab the other end and pull it down to the ground again. We quickly sit down and pull the basket in front of us.

"You're supposed to have that up." Jacob says, pulling the mask back over my nose.

I shrug. "I'm not living my life in fear of the little germs that might kill me." I say, pulling the mask back down.

Jacob sighs. "Why can't you just cooperate?"

"Because I want to live my life how I should, not afraid of everything."

"You want to live though right?"

"Yes, but if I have to die I want to have lived happily."

"Just do what your told so you can stay with me."

Jacobs pain registers on his face before he can stop it. We both stop talking and for the next ten minutes we eat our food in silence.

"Can we just go home?" I whisper. "I mean, back to the hospital."

Jacob nods. How did such a wonderful start at the beach go so wrong?

Back in the car, on the way to the hospital, I try to apologize.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It was a stupid thing to fight about and-"

"Shh. You have nothing to say sorry for. Lets just forget about it."

Jacobs POV

When I wake up in the morning, the sun is shinning outside, I guess Carlisle's avoiding windows. The though kind of amuses me in my half-awake state.

Later that day the Cullen's come and hang out for a bit, and by 'for a bit' I mean until Edward has a freak out over something Alice thought and runs out. Then the party is kind of ruined, and I'm left alone with Nessie. It's not fair to think this, but I wonder why I'm the only one who stays, do the others not care enough? I know that's not true, but maybe they should be worrying less about how they feel and more about Nessie, as I have. I've pushed back my own emotions to deal help her with hers. But that might just be the power of the imprint, I don't know. Isn't that part of it? Putting the other first? I would like to think not, I'd like to think its just because its who I am.

The sun has been covered by clouds, but their starting to break up and reveal bits of blue sky. I decide that maybe its time Nessie get out for a bit. She hasn't been outside this hospital for three weeks.

When Carlisle comes in, I instantly push him back out into the hall, shutting the door so Nessie doesn't hear.

"Carlisle, its really nice today, can I take her out?"

"That's not the best idea Jacob."

"Please? She's been in here for so long, she needs to get out for a bit before she loses her mind."

"Are you sure this isn't about _you_ losing _your_ mind? Really Jake, you can go home for a bit."

"No! Okay, maybe a bit. But if _I'm_ going crazy I'm sure she is, since she's the one that all this is happening to. Please Carlisle, I'll bring her right back if anything bad happens, and I'll make sure nothing bad does happen."

He thinks about it for a moment. "Fine, come get a wheel chair. She'll have to wear a mask so she doesn't pick up some nasty germs, and be carful."

He gets me all the stuff she needs, goes into his office where we've been keeping Nessie's things in case she needs them and comes back with a sun dress.

"And most of all, have fun." He smiles kindly.

"Thank you Carlisle."

I race back to Nessies room, to other people I probably look like I belong in the mental ward, I'm grinning from ear to ear and tripping over the wheelchair that I push in front of me, a blue dress draped over my shoulder. Yes, deffinetly, I look like I belong in a padded cell.

I'm surprised that Nessie puts up a tiny fight, she wants to go, I know it, but she wants to make everyone happy, and that means staying safe.

But as soon as we leave, I see that she's been aching for this all along. She stares out the window, taking everything in.

We're only at the beach for an hour at the most. I was hoping to stay for the sunset. I mess it all up though and Nessie wants to go back.

* * *

**What do you like so far? What can I improve? Tell me in the comments! **


	6. Wish it would end

**This is my favorite chapter in the whole stroy, its so important and so sweet. I hope you all like it!**

* * *

Nessie's POV

The door to my room opens and Grandpa comes in, I try to read his face but it's impossible, the only thing is a deadness in his eyes.

Jacobs arms squeeze my shoulders, today we get the results of the chemo, if it worked or not.

It's been a month and a half in the hospital, each week I get a dose of chemotherapy. I've gotten better at handling it, pushing back the sickness and trying to hold in the worst of the pain. Its the least I can do for my family now, they don't have to watch me suffer. Well dad has to hear it, but I hope he's just not listening.

Grandpa sits down on the side of the bed, I try to look hopeful while inside all I feel is despair and a ghost of hope.

"Nessies chemo didn't work, but that's normal. Most patients aren't cured the first time around."

I swallow hard, telling my self this isn't the worst news I've ever gotten. I think being diagnosed was worse, or maybe when I was only months old and the Volturi came to kill me and my family. Yes, that was definitely the worst, then everyone I love could have died, now its just me.

Grandpa tells mom and dad all about what's going to happen next, I tune it out, staring out the window at the rain dripping on the glass.

"Nessie?" Grandpa says.

"Huh, yeah? What?" I sap back into reality.

"Did you hear what I just said?"

"Sorry, no, I wasn't listening."

"I said that there are still several other options. We can try radiation, there are a few trials, but the most likely to put you into remission is donation."

"What kind of donation?"

"Bone marrow."

"So, what are we doing now?"

"I'm going to consult the other doctors, but either radiation or a more intensive form of chemo."

"Great." I mutter.

* * *

This is terrifying. Maybe it shouldn't be, maybe I should be able to think about pain and laugh, but this is still terrifying.

Today is my first spinal tap, which is basically a big needle that goes into your spine to collect bone marrow for testing. I can only imagine right now, how bad this is going to hurt.

I've really gotten over my fear of needles. I've had to, with all the IVs and the central port and the blood tests every week. But this is more then a little pinch.

Grandpa comes in carrying a tray covered with a blue towel. I lean into Jacobs arms as if I can hide in him.

We've talked about the procedure a lot, so I know what to expect, I thought I was ready, But I'm not. As soon as I lie down on my side and curl up like your supposed to I start crying. Jacob quickly wipes away my tears but they continue to come. Jake takes one of my hands and mom takes the other, while dad stands by my head right where I can see him, whispering encouragement.

Grandpa lifts my shirt away from my lower back and starts sanitizing with alcohol. I shudder violently then grip their hands harder so I don't do that again. My stomach is rolling like I'm going to be sick.

Dad gently caresses my cheek, brushing away more tears.

There's pressure on my back and I instinctively jerk away, before I realize it was just grandpas thumb.

"Ready?"

I try to answer him, but the words get caught in my throat. I eventually choke out "Yes."

Jacob crouches down so he's eye level with me, once I look at him I'm a little more calm.

I yelp but try my hardest to stay still while there's the searing pain in my back, then its gone and I try taking deep breaths to relax. _That was the numbing, that's all you'll feel. Your okay now. _I tell my self.

"I'm sorry sweetie." Grandpa says sympathetically.

"No, its fine. Don't feel bad." I try to tell him.

After a few minutes there's no feeling in my back and Grandpa does the rest of the procedure, the only thing I feel is stinging as the big needle goes through bone.

Once its done Grandpa puts a thick piece of gauze over the area on my back, tells me to stay lying down and that he'll be back once he gets the vials to the lab. Mom and dad follow after him so they can ask him something. Once I'm sure their far down the hall I break down in to tears and sobbing. Jacob climbs on the bed and pulls me into his lap even though I'm supposed to be laying down.

"I just want it to be over. I'm _sick _of being sick Jacob!" I whine like a baby.

"I know honey, I know."

"I can't stand this anymore!"

"I wish I could help." He mutters. Then his head snaps up.

"What?" I ask. "What?" I ask again when he doesn't answer.

"I'll be right back, I promise." Jacob says, kissing my forehead then jogging out the door, through the small window into the hall, I watch him quickly walk away until he turns the corner and I can't see him any more.

Jacobs POV

Renesmee is the bravest person I've ever known. She's doing so much better at handling everything happening to her then I ever could. Sometimes she breaks down, but I know she wishes she didn't. She wishes she could be strong all the time. But even though she cries and complains, she's still so brave.

After the spinal tap, when Carlisle, Edward and Bella are far away, she starts crying harder then she was during the procedure. This is what I mean, she tried not to show how much pain she was in, so they wouldn't suffer with her, she even was comforting Carlisle, but now that their gone she cries. She doesn't try to hide how she feels in front of me as much, and I'm glad she doesn't. I want to know exactly what she feels so I can help her, though she still doesn't tell me nearly everything.

I get on the bed and hold her while sobs rack her body.

She says nothing for a long time, then whispers "I just want it to be over. I'm _sick_ of being sick Jacob."

I rub her back soothingly. "I know honey, I know."

"I just can't stand it anymore." She tells me, and I believe her. She'll break at some point and she'll never be the same, even if she beats the cancer, which I know she will, she'll have lost a part of who she is. The cancer isn't just killing her body, its killing her spirit, the part of her that I love.

"I wish I could help." I whisper back. Then I realize... I can.

Just the other day Carlisle was talking about donation. About how that would possibly put her into remission. A donation of bone marrow.

"I'll be right back, I promise." I mutter. I kiss her forehead then rush out of the room to find Carlisle.

I turn the corner towards the lab and almost bump into him.

"Jacob, what's the matter?" He asks, probably wondering why I'm away from Nessie for the first time since we got here.

"Carlisle, you were talking about bone marrow donation. How does that work?"

"Well, someone that matches her HLA donates, which is a simple procedure but has many risks. Then we give it to her through her central port. Why?"

"I wanna do it." I say

"Jacob, that's very hard, and you might not even match."

"I can get tested right? If I don't match then at least I tried. And if I do then I'll do it. What are the chances it'll put her into remission?"

He sighs. "About a eighty percent chance. Jacob, I know your worried about her, we all are, but I don't want you to be hurt if you can't donate."

"I won't. Just have me get tested."

He thinks for a moment, then gestures for me to follow him. We go back to the lab.

* * *

After a simple mouth swab I go back to Renesmee's room and find her sleeping. I'm glad that she's asleep, I hope her dreams are happy.

I sit down beside her, feeling ten times better then before I left. Now, I might be able to save her.

* * *

**Tell me what you think in the comments!**


	7. Do whatever you want

**This is a really short chapter, and so is the next one, so I'll post them both today, and possibly another.**

* * *

Nessies POV

"You did what?!" I snap as soon as Jacob tells me about his plan.

"I'm getting tested to see if I'm a match." He tells me for the third time.

"No no no no no. Do you know how dangerous it is for you? You can't donate!"

"I want to Nessie, I want to help you. Please let me?"

"Not if you can get hurt!"

"I wont."

"You can't know that! There are side effects, and possibilities and a whole bunch of stuff that can hurt you! I'd rather die then let you do something that ultimately hurts you."

"And I'd rather get hurt then watch you die."

"That's not the same! I didn't put my self in this situation! I can't let you put your self in that situation!"

"Nessie, listen, I really want to help you. Please don't make it more difficult then it already is."

I think for a long moment, if its worth the effort, to argue with him about this. Jacob is stubborn and when he decides to do something, he doesn't change his mind. "Is there any point in trying to convince you not to do this?"

"Not really."

I sigh. "Fine. Do whatever you want."

Just then Grandpa comes in. Jacob looks at him hopefully. "Are the results back?" He asks

"Yes."

"And?"

"Well, your HLA is a perfect match for Renesmee's."

"You mean, I can donate to Nessie?"

"Yes."

_Damn it_, I was counting on us not being a match. I mean, the odds are very rare that two people will be compatible, but nooo, Jacobs a perfect match for me. He looks at me, smiling.

"Fine. Do whatever you want." I repeat my earlier words.

Jacobs POV

I've never been more relived then Carlisle comes in and says I'm a match. It's only a small step towards the ultimate results, but its the beginning of what could be Renesmees cure.

* * *

**What do you think? Tell me in the comments! **


	8. Risk

**Two diffrent points of veiws on Jacobs idea, I like this chapter because it shows how much they care for each other :D**

* * *

Nessies POV

Because Jacob is basically part of the family and we know almost everything about him, there is no process where he has to go through a bunch of testing to make sure he's healthy and has no drug abuse problems. Grandpa says that the donation can be made in less then a month. Which means in less then a month I could be healthy again, but it also means in less then a month Jacob is going to be going through surgery, for me. He doesn't seem as scared as I am, he acts like its nothing, whereas I'm constantly reminding him that he doesn't need to do this. That I'll be fine. I really wish he wouldn't do this, not for me, I'm not worth the risk.

Jacobs POV

I'm thrilled that I get to donate in less then a month! It means that Nessie will hopefully be put into remission. And the best part is, that its _me_ who can do that for her.

Nessie acts like its a big deal, and maybe it is, I mean, I'll be put under anesthesia and they'll be cutting into me, but its an easy procedure, it doesn't take long, an hour at the most. Its simple, there's really nothing to worry about other then the side effects of anesthesia, but those come with any surgery you have.

I would do anything for Nessie, I would die for her, so this is nothing in comparison. She tells me all the time that I don't have to do this, and I tell her that she needs to stop worrying about me. I'll be fine. I wish she would stop thinking about me and think more about her self. She's worth the small risk that comes with donation.

* * *

**Comment and tell me what you think! I love reading your opinions!**


	9. Goodnight

**Another chapter, three chapters in one day! Hope you like it!**

* * *

Nessies POV

Only a day before Jacobs scheduled surgery. He has to spend the night as a patient himself, in a room beside mine, but as soon as the lights turn off he comes into my room, also in a hospital gown, somehow he pulls it off better then anyone I've seen. He stays snuggled up behind me until I fall asleep, because when I wake in the middle of the night from a terrible dream that I forget as soon as I wake, he's not there.

Jacobs POV

I now know what its like for Nessie, having to be a patient in the hospital. Even if its not the same, even if there's no way to actually know exactly what she's going through, I have a better idea. The nurses that come and go, in and out of your room all the time. I find there's a difference between choosing not to go outside and not really having a choice, I've chosen not to leave her side, but now that I'm not allowed to leave, I want to badly.

I hate being away from Nessie, though my room is right beside her. If I listen hard enough I can hear her talking to her parents or Carlisle, but I want to be in there anyway.

So after the lights are dimmed I sneak into her room, carefully watching for the moment when there are no nurses around. Apparently she was expecting me because she's sitting up in bed, and she doesn't look surprised when the door opens and its me, not a nurse.

"Hey." She whispers, motioning for me to come in and shut the door. I do that and go sit on the bed.

"Hello darling." I whisper back, kissing her cheek. "Big day tomorrow."

"I guess." She mutters, looking out the window at the moon. "You can still back out you know."

"I'm not going to back out."

"I knew you wouldn't. But you can't blame me for trying."

"You really don't need to try. I'll be out of here in a day, well, not really out of here, I'll be done being a patient in a day and back to spending all my time with you."

"I like the last part of that idea."

"Which part?" I ask as I bend my head to press my lips to her neck.

"The part about spending all your time with me."

"Good, because that's another part of the plan I'm not changing my mind on."

"I won't try to talk you out of that part."

as I slowly start to slide down her neck, her hospital gown slips off her shoulder. I take the opportunity to kiss the exposed skin.

Slowly we lay down and I hold her from behind. Glad, that by tomorrow she could have a part of me in her, hopefully that's the part that saves her.

Nessies POV

When I wake up from the nightmare I do the same thing Jacob did earlier and quietly tip toe to the next door and into his room. He's sleeping, so I gently climb on his bed and sit cross legged, watching him dream.

I hear nurses outside, probably making their rounds. I should go back to my room. I'm a lot calmer now that I've seen Jacob. I slowly lean in and kiss his temple, so lightly that it couldn't have felt like more then a breeze. I move a piece of hair out of his eye and as I get up whisper to him

"Thank you. I never thanked you for all this, for everything you've done. But thank you."

Then I go back to my room and sleep dreamlessly the rest of the night.

* * *

**Comment! What do you like? What can I do better? What do you think will happen next? I love reading all of your comments!**


	10. Thank you, for everything

**Extreamly exited to post this chapter, don't know why, I just liked this chapter from the moment I started writing it. Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!**

* * *

Nessie's POV

I don't wake up early enough to say goodbye to Jacob before they take him in the surgery, and I'm furious no one woke me!

I pace back and forth across my little room. "You know I wanted to be there!" I snap at them.

"We asked Jacob if he wanted to see you and he said 'let her sleep.'" Dad explains.

"I don't care what Jacob said! You should have woken me!"

Mom comes over and wraps me in a hug. My anger dissolves and I start crying_. Again_. "I'm so scared, I know the odds are that nothing will happen, but there_ is_ a chance."

"Sweetie," Mom says, brushing away tears from my cheeks. "Carlisle's in there, he won't let anything happen to Jacob."

"I know." I mutter. I know all my panicking has been really stupid and pointless, but I can't suppress it.

"He's been in for about forty minutes. I'm sure they'll be bringing him out very soon, and then you can see him."

I nod and she goes to sit back down with dad.

I wanted to tell him I love him and I wanted to thank him for this, and for everything, while he was actually awake. And I wanted to hold his hand as long as I could until they took him into the operating room. I really just wanted him to know that even though I was not happy about his decision, its just because I'm scared for him but that I support him and whether this puts me into remission or not, I'm so grateful.

I stare at the wall for I don't know how long, trying not to imagine Jacob on a cold, metal operating table.

The door opens and Grandpa comes in. That means the surgery is done then. He wouldn't leave during the surgery right?

He sees the anticipation on my face and immediately says "He's fine."

I practically jump on him in relief. "Thank you." I breath.

Grandpa pats my back and lets me go.

"Where is he?" I ask.

"He's downstairs in recovery."

"Can I see him?"

"Not yet, he's still asleep. You can see him as soon as we bring him up to his room.

I sigh, preparing for another long wait. Then Grandpa looks at his watch. "Which should be in about ten minutes."

Grandpa slips out so he can be there when Jacob wakes up, and I start pacing again.

"Honey, he's okay. You can relax." Dad reminds me.

"I know. I know." But I don't stop walking from the door to the window.

As Grandpa said, only eleven minutes later a nurse comes to the door and says one of us at a time can come see him. She holds open the door for me and I run, literally run, past her. Then I stop in front of his door, taking a breath, then opening it.

Jacob's propped up in bed, when he sees me he gives a half smile. Its obvious he's a little dopey from the anesthesia.

I lean over the side of the bed and kiss him so hard that he winces.

"Sorry." I say, pulling back.

"S'okay. Still a little sore."

"You feel okay though right?" I ask frantically.

"I feel fine Ness, calm down before you have a heart attack."

"I'm just so happy. Your okay, your actually okay."

"What'd I tell ya?"

I kiss him a lot gentler this time, I pause with my hands on either side of his face and tell him what I wanted to before the surgery. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm sorry I was freaking out so much before, I was just so scared and now your okay and everything's okay. Thank you thank you thank you." Before I kiss him again.

"Get up here." Jacob says, slowly patting the space beside him. He doesn't have to ask me twice. I try as carefully as possible to get on, but the movement still him cringe.

"Does it hurt really bad?" I ask.

"Not as bad as I thought. But that's probably because of all the meds. Its like when that vampire broke half my body, Carlisle doesn't know the right dose to give me and I think he went a little overboard."

"Well, that's better then being in pain."

"Guess so."

He's slowly starting to look more focused.

"Jacob, I am so proud and amazed and simply grateful that you did this. I don't care if it works or not, you tried."

Jacobs POV

I'm up earlier then normal the next morning, waiting for the nurses to come and prep me. But instead of the nurses being the first people that come in are Edward and Bella.

Bella hugs me. "Your the best Jake. You didn't have to do this, and I'm glad you did."

"I need to help her in any way possible."

"Jacob," Edward says. "Your really part of the family, and as part of the family you should start living with us all the time."

I'm a little stunned. I have a room at the Cullen house, and though I'm aloud to stay over when ever I want, it's never been more then a few days. I never thought I was welcome more then that.

"Uh, yeah. That would be, cool. It'll be nice to get out of Billy's old place."

"You can move in whenever your ready."

"As soon as this is over." Bella insists.

Then the nurses start coming in. I try to keep calm, but I'm starting to get scared. I've never been in the hospital for anything, never had surgery before, this isn't as easy as I thought. A single thought of Nessie though and the fear goes away. I'm doing this for her. This will help her. And what she's gone through has to have been worse then this.

"Would you like us to get her?" Edward asks.

"No! She doesn't need to freak out more then she already is. Let her sleep until its over."

Edward and Bella stay with me until the nurses tell them they need to leave. Bella hugs me one last time and Edward smiles before they go.

A few seconds later an IV is stuck in my wrist and in only a moment I'm feeling tired. I give in, wanting to do this as soon as possible so it can go to Nessie sooner.

* * *

**Comment! It only takes a second! Tell me what your thinking of the story, because I love to know what other people think!**


	11. You have my heart

**Really short chapter, I know. I'll post the next one also. **

* * *

Nessies POV.

I only leave for a second to let mom see Jacob, then she comes out and lets me go back in, and I stay there until Jacob is released five hours later. He changes back into his normal clothes, moving sluggishly, wincing every once in a while, then follows me back to my room where we find Grandpa holding a big IV bag.

I sit down on the edge of my bed, with Jacob right beside me. Grandpa hooks up the bag to the IV and attaches it to the central port on my chest. I watch the gross stuff seep through the thin, snake like tube, into my chest.

"I have a piece of you with me now. Always." I tell Jacob.

"That is one of the most disgusting, creepy and sweet thing you've ever said."

I giggle. "I wish I had something to give you. Would you like a kidney?"

"I'm good. If I ever need a new liver I'll come to you though."

"I know what I can give you."

"Whats that?"

"Oh wait, you already have it. My heart."

"Your so corny." He tells me.

"I know." I say brightly.

Mom, dad and Grandpa are watching us with smiles through this whole conversation. I wouldn't say this is the happiest moment of my life, but its one of them.

Jacobs POV.

I love to see Nessie smiling again, after so long of her being sad, when her smiles were hard to come by, today they seem to be everywhere. I might have said it was corny, but Renesmee has my heart to.

* * *

**So, comment and tell me what you think! Do you think it works? Or did Jacob do it all for nothing? I can't wait for you guys to see the next chapter!**


	12. Waiting for results

**Really short chapter, posting two more today though!**

* * *

Nessie's POV.

One more painful spinal tap, one more blood test, two days after Jacobs bone marrow entered my body, and then we're waiting for the results.

Jacobs POV.

I wonder if it was just me or did Nessie seem to get better almost immediately? Somehow she looks better only hours after being given the bone marrow. A little bit of light in her eyes, pink in her cheeks, she seems healthier, but maybe that's just pure joy. I know that's what I'm feeling.

* * *

**Comment! Please?**


	13. I love you

**Another chapter is here! Enjoy it!**

* * *

Nessie's POV

My heart is racing with fear and anticipation. What if it didn't work and what Jacob did was all for nothing? What if it did work but only for a little while? What ifs are all that go through my mind as we wait for Grandpa to come. Where is he?!

"He said he'd be here in a few minutes right?" I ask impatiently.

"Yes, he did." Mom agrees. "Maybe you could go look for him?" She asks dad.

"He's coming."

My hand squeezes around Jacobs. _This is it._ The same thing I thought before I was diagnosed.

Jacob turns to me quickly as we now start to hear Grandpas foot steps down the hall. "I love you, no matter what happens, I love you." He promises, then pecks me on the lips for a second before we turn to stare at the door again. It slowly opens and Grandpa comes in. I cant read anything from his face or his eyes.

He sits down at his desk and watches us wait for a few minutes.

"Nessie has been so brave through all of this. Through everything has happened to you, you are one of my best patients." Grandpa tells me with a smile. "And I'm not just saying that because your my granddaughter. I'm saying that because its true. There are fifty year olds that don't handle any of this as well as you have. I know that if we continued treatment you would continue to be just as strong as always. But I'm glad to say we won't have to. Your cancer is gone. Your in remission."

I breath a sigh of relief. Its over. Its really over.

Then it really comes to me. My cancer is gone! I don't have to stay here anymore! I get to go home and keep living, and pretend everything that happened in the past few months didn't! I get to live a long, happy life!

A life with Jacob.

Jacobs POV

Nessie and I jump up and I crush her into my chest. She looks up at me and I look down at her. We say nothing, we don't even kiss. I just hold her tight.

Edward and Bella are hugging each other and Carlisle, but I can't focus on them, I can only stare into Nessies eyes. I can only be happy to hold her in my arms, and never have to let go again.

* * *

**There is one more chapter after this. Comment and tell me what you think!**


	14. Epilouge

**The ending you've all been waiting for! Hope you all enjoy it!**

* * *

Nessies POV

Thee years. Its been Three years since I was diagnosed with cancer; Three years since Jacob donated the bone marrow that cured me; Three years since I had Leukaemia.

Everything is normal again. Its like nothing ever happened to me. Its like I wasn't on the edge of death. Everything's normal, except that now I value everything in my life a lot more. Every smile and laugh reminds me that I have real reason to be happy, I'm healthy and safe, I have a loving family and the love of my life. Every time I walk in the rain, I remember those weeks when I couldn't leave the hospital. Every kiss makes me realize what I could have lost. I take nothing for granted anymore. I live my life to the fullest.

Because you never know when the world might come crashing down on your shoulders.

Jacobs POV.

If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't believe that Renesmee was ever sick. She's so happy and full of life, you know when she enters the room because she brings joy around with her like an aura. Like she carries it on her at all times. She brightens your day with a smile. She certainly makes mine better, every time she touches me, every time she kisses my lips, or whispers in my ear or just looks at me with those happy eyes, I cherish it, because in an instant she could have been gone, like many others. I will never stop being grateful for her existence.

I did everything to save her, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst, and it worked. I got keep the only thing that matters to me. I get to hold her in my arms, and wake up to her beautiful face everyday.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading my story, I know it wasn't the most accurate or the most well writen, but I loved every moment I got to write out, I loved reading your comments and getting feedback. Thank you so much!**


	15. Authors Note

**I have decided to write a sequel, I have an idea and I know whats going to happen next. It might take a while for me to post it because all of my stories are finished before I post them anywhere, it might take me a month to write this one. But there will be one. Keep me on your alerts so you know when its up :D Thanks for reading! **


	16. Second authors note

**For any of you who are intrested, the follow up story to this one has just been posted! You should go check it out :)**

**Thank you all so much! **


End file.
